Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
