community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
