glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
