For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
