we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize