You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
