I must be too annoying 4 u.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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