every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
