he shaved USA in his pubs
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
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