I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
