he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You made out with two different species that night
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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