I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just want nice things and good sex
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
