Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
