i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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