this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
