playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
