I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
