Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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