also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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