So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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