I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
