wrigley field is MILF paradise
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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