they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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