I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
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