am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
