Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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