Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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