i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
