i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
