found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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