you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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