Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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