I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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