if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.