i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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