so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
