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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"

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• (+49): View more from Germany

  They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.

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• (903): View more from Texas

  Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.

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• (716): View more from New York

  Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis

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