Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015