I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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