Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)