I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.