hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC