i may or may not be watching the land before time
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
