How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
