I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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