you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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