I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
