and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
