There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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