I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation