Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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