On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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