i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
