remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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