Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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