I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
