I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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