I wanna bring you to show and tell
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
