So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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