So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
