and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
