I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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