Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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