Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
