Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
