And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
