It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
