I like my sex mixed with concussions.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
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I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
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Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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