if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
