GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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