yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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