but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
