I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
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And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
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THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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